I'm such a bad blogger

But I actually blame it on my work computer. I went almost a whole month without internet access at work because of a virus. And I'm way too busy at home to even crack open the laptop. This will be a picture-less post because my camera is at home. I will try and remember to bring it tomorrow! I have a ton of new pics to post.

Calleigh is doing so much now. She's pretty good at sitting up now. She's still somewhat assisted though because she's still doing the tripod sit but she's getting better. She's started rolling from back to belly. She did it a while back but we didn't see it. She was laying on her playmat and the next thing we know she's on her belly and her feet were where her head was and her head where her feet were. Then about a week later I finally see her do it while I'm getting ready for work.

She's laughing so much now and always has a grin on her pretty little face. She is amazed by her feet and she tries to stick them in her mouth. She'll occasionally get a toe or two in there =) Her fingers stay in her mouth. She's getting pretty good at holding toys and reaching for them. Whatever toy she has in her hand, must be inspected by her mouth first.

She'll be 5 months old next week. I'm so not ready for this. I get so teary eyed thinking that just a few months ago she was just a newborn. Now she's so big and doing so many things...I wish I could pause time.

Calleigh has a baby cousin!

Well our cousin BJ and his wife Theresa had their baby girl Riley Augustine on 1/20/10 at 1:57 A.M. weighing in at 20 3/4 inches 8.15 pounds!!! A huge congratulations to them. I can't wait to meet her. We might go there this weekend or next weekend. They're not being released to go home until tomorrow morning and they don't know if they'll be up for visitors this weekend or not yet.

Well Calleigh makes 4 months next Thursday and I think we'll be trying cereal soon. We'll see how it goes. I had a dream last night that she was feeding herself some type of orange baby food and it was all over her....can't wait to actually get something like that on camera and on our camcorder.

Well nothing new to really update with. Calleigh is starting to giggle alot now and she always has a grin on her face when you look at her. She's been really fussy at night lately though. I'm not sure if it's teeth or if it's the fact that she doesn't nap at my mother-in-law's during the day.

My MIL is still really on my ass about feeding Calleigh cereal in a bottle. She's even told me that she's going to go buy baby food and cereal and oatmeal and just start feeding her that stuff herself!!! I told her I just wouldn't bring Calleigh over there if she was going to be like that. That's my fricken child and I want to be the one to feed her stuff like that first. That might sound stupid but that's something important to me. Especially if this is going to be our last baby like I'm thinking it's going to be. I've told her that nobody puts cereal in bottles anymore unless the pedi okays it for whatever reason. She claims that if mother's listened to pedi's all the time then our children would starve. I honestly can't stand having to give her reasons for how I want to do things. It really aggrivates me. Sometimes I just want to tell her to STFU and grab my baby and leave...

New Year and Updates

Well it's been a while since I've posted. Me and Darren were both off from Christmas eve until yesterday and man was it so nice! We really enjoyed our time off with our little girl. We ended up going to my parents and doing Christmas morning there. Then went to Darren's sisters house and then finally home. Calleigh got tons of gifts. One of my stepmoms favorite things that her and my dad bought Calleigh was a pink rocking horse. Yep...a 3 months old with a rocking horse...She won't be able to play with it for a while but man is it precious!

Calleigh made 3 months on 12/28 and we got her ears pierced on New Years Eve. We took her to the mall and then we went and ate lunch at Coyote Blues. She cried for a few minutes but a bottle made it all better.

I've been playing with her trying to get her to sit up by herself for the past week or so now and last night she sat up by herself for 5 minutes. She had her fists by her legs propping her up but she wasn't leaning down, she was sitting up and looking around. We were so proud of her!!


Okay here's some pics!



Holding her head up during tummy time on our bed




Grinning for her 3 month picture

Ears pierced!

Christmas night with her sister M and brother B

Smiling at mommy Christmas morning



And her sitting up last night!!!!

Dear Calleigh

My precious baby girl, you are getting so big! I can't believe you're already 2.5 months old! It seems like just yesterday we brought you home. You've taught me so much in the short time you've been here. Yes I've learned how to change a diaper, feed you, entertain you, bathe you, and I pretty much know what you need just by your cry now. But I've also learned that there is no such thing like a bond between a mother and her child. I know how it is to love with all of my heart because of you.

Last night after you fell asleep on my chest I sat there gazing at you. I know I should of gotten up and put you to bed but I couldn't bring myself to do it. It's almost a nightly battle to lay you down when you look so peaceful and beautiful. It's the highlight of my night when you finally succumb to those sleepy eyes and you start to drift off...you usually give me this sleepy grin and you close those pretty eyes of yours and you drift off to sleep.

You've also learned so much too little girl. You light our hearts up with your beautiful smile. I know your so close to giggling, I can't wait to hear it! You are very good at holding your head up for long periods of time. That's no surprise there because you've been trying to hold that head of yours up since we were in the hospital. You've discovered your right fist and you like to gnaw on it. You rolled over for the first time on 12/6 and you've done it many many times since then.

I packed away your newborn size clothes last weekend and I'll be giving them to your new cousin that's on her way. It was sad but I kept a few things I couldn't part with. Your growing up too fast my babe. Please slow down so I can take advantage of you being this small because I know it won't last long.

Love you my sweet nugget!
Mommy.

Finally got it on video!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MBXpTBb5NE

I finally got her on video rolling over. Click on the above link. Sorry about the quality. I recorded it from my cellphone.

Rollie Pollie

Calleigh rolled from her tummy to her back 3 times yesterday!! I wasn't able to catch any of these on video but I will try tonight. I'm so proud of her! She's getting so strong and my goodness it's scary how fast she's growing. She's already 10 weeks old!

Me and Darren did some Christmas shopping over the weekend. We're done with B and Calleigh. We still have to get M one more thing. And then we still have both sets of our parents and my younger brother to buy for. I don't think we're doing gifts for eachother this year. Over the past 4 or 5 months, Darren has bought me a new stainless steel fridge and oven, and a washer and drier set. He just bought himself a motorcycle last month so we're kinda strapped for gift cash. He claims he may buy me something because the stuff he bought "me" was really for the house but it doesn't matter to be honest with you.

I'm really looking forward to our Christmas holidays. We're off from work from 12/24-1/3. That means I get 11 whole days to spend time with my family =)

My BIG girl!

Today was Calleigh's 2 months well-baby checkup. She weighs in at a whopping 12.5 lbs and is 25 inches long. Whoa little girl..you need to slow down! At birth she weighed 7 lbs 13 oz so she has almost doubled her weight in just 2 months. She's grown 3 1/4 inches! I guess with a 6' 2" dad, and a 5' 8" mom, you have no choice but to be tall. Both her weight and her height is above average for her age but her doctor isn't worried because they balance eachother out.
She got 3 shots today and an oral med for stomach flue. One of her shots had 6 different things in it and the other 2 shots only had one in each. When they poked her with the first needle, her eyes got HUGE and she stuck that lip out and then started screaming. I felt horrible!! She was back to normal thought after some cuddling and her noonie.

I went to my doctor yesterday afternoon. I've had a 3 week long period and it's going on the 4th week now. My doctor gave me a hormone pill to take for 2 weeks and some pain meds for the killer cramps I've been having. I only had about 4 weeks of PP bleeding, then a week and a half later I started this hellacious period and it has not stopped or let up or anything. Hopefully the end is near!!!

I thought this would get easier

I knew having Calleigh here wouldn't replace my feelings for Wyatt but I thought it would atleast make it easier. And yes she has healed pieces of my heart. The pieces that yearned for a baby to love and raise, but not the pieces that are broken over losing one. Wyatt was a complete surprise but he was one of the best. What I wouldn't give to have my little boy here with his little sister. I know he's here in spirit but it's not the same. I watch Darren's son B play with Calleigh and it tugs at my heart. Wyatt would of been such a great big brother. I know he would of helped mold her into such a perfect little lady. He'll always look after her and protect her and I should be happy that she has such a great guardian angel in Heaven. But I just can't help but wonder what it would be like to watch them both playing together though. Sometimes when she's smiling and staring off into space I think that he's talking to her. Call me crazy if you want, but that's what I believe.

Who dat!

I'm working at the restaraunt tonight so I won't be home for the Saints game tonight. Darren is cooking some kind of meat and gravy with his deer meet he took out. I'll also be missing out on my #1 Saints fan cheering dem Saints onto another victory...

Thanksgiving

We had a great Thanksgiving! Good food and good times. My dad's turkey was the shizzle as always. Everyone thought Calleigh was just the cutest thing. She was very good and didn't fuss at all. We didn't end up staying the night but me and Darren got up at 5am Friday morning and went shopping. We left Calleigh at home with our cousin Brittany. We got alot of good deals and didn't even have to fight anyone for them.
I put our tree up Friday evening and Calleigh absolutely loved it. I put her in her swing and she stared at the lights for a good 30 minutes just smiling. She isn't laughing yet but she's getting there. She's "talking" alot more now and I know that first laugh is right around the corner.
She made 2 months Saturday and man is she getting big!!! Her 2 months appointment is Weds and my poor baby is getting shots :(

Whining

Would it be selfish of me to say that I miss being pregnant and having Calleigh all to myself? While I love having her here and watching her grow every day, I totally miss feeling her kick and move around inside of me and knowing that she was all mine. I miss knowing that I didn't have to share her with Darren, his kids, our families & friends. It was kinda like our own personal bubble.

I HATED having to stay in the hospital 4 extra days but it was great in it's own way too. Even though she was here, I still had her all to myself. Darren and everyone would come to visit but Darren was busy at home getting her room ready (painting, putting together her crib, swing, PNP, dresser...) It was like we were in our own little cocoon.

I soaked in as much as I could of her while I was on maternity leave. I know our bond is strong but she spends so much of her day with other people and not me. That kills me. I know she knows who I am but I'm not there. I have to leave her 5 days out of the week and I feel so guilty. Out of a week day, I'm only with her for 6 hours or less before she's asleep for the night. I really wish we could afford me to stay home but unless Darren finds a job making double what he's making now, it's not doable.

It's nice to dream though isn't it?

On a better note, Calleigh is smiling and grinning so much now. She's not laughing yet but with the noises she's making whilie she's smiling you can tell she's close to laughing. I can't wait to hear her first little giggle. I hope it's while I'm with her and someone else isn't telling me how beautiful it is. She's officially out of NB size clothes. She's into 0-3 now. I felt sad packing up her NB size clothes but she'll soon have a new little cousin I can donate them too. Our cousin Theresa is pregnant and is due in January. She's also having a little girl and she'll get lots of hand-me-downs from Calleigh. We went to her baby shower last Saturday and it was alot of fun. She looked so happy and glowing.

1 Month Photos

These were taken almost a month ago. I got them back yesterday. My little girl already looks so different than she did not even 3 weeks ago. I'll post a more recent pic below and you can compare.

Her face is more filled out and rounder. I can't believe she's going to be 2 months old next Saturday. It hasn't seemed like that long.
She's still sleeping through the night. She's going to sleep earlier during the week because she's not napping much at her maw maws house during the day. My MIL keeps her awake all day and plays with her which is great but it also sucks because I have to deal with a fussy baby and I'm also missing out on time with her since she passes out before I'm even finished cooking dinner. I'm really looking forward to the holidays. We're eating Thanksgiving dinner at my grandmothers house and Calleigh will get to meet the rest of the family. I've been craving some of my dad's fried turkey so I really can't wait! We might stay the night at my parents house that night so I can go shopping Friday morning with my stepmom. Not sure about that yet though.

4 Years

Four years ago while we were laying in his bed, Darren asked me "So, are you gonna be my girlfriend?" Very romantic, huh?
We've been through so much in these last 4 years and I can't believe it's been this long already. We don't celebrate this "anniversary" anymore but I still wanted to acknowledge this special date. I love you babe!!

Back to work....

Today is my 2nd day back at work and it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Yesterday morning I woke up at 6ish and started getting ready for work. Calleigh woke up around 6:30 I fed her and we were off to Maw Maw's house. I hated leaving her yesterday morning! I didn't cry but I definately felt guilty. All I could think about yesterday was going to visit her on my lunch and then getting off at 3:30 and picking her up to come home.
Today wasn't that bad. We both woke up at 5:00, I fed her and changed her then we cuddled in the bed and kinda dozed off and on until I had to get up and start getting ready. I didn't feel so guilty dropping her off this morning but she was sleeping and not wide awake like yesterday morning. She couldn't see me leaving her!!
I just got back from visiting with her over my lunch break. She was actually awake today and I got to feed her and play with her for a little while.
I know my MIL is taking good care of her and is loving on her all day and playing with her. I couldn't imagine putting my sweet baby girl in daycare and be worried about her being neglected all day. I know that's not really what goes on at daycares but I still don't want her in one. We're so lucky that Darren's mom is able to keep Calleigh for us.
While it's nice to be back at work, I'd give anything to be at home with my little girl curled up in the bed.

Dreading Monday

Calleigh napping with my dad

I went to the doctor this morning and was released. He said everything looked fine and I can return to normal duties. I also got a script for birthcontrol! I hate having to remember to take them darn pills every day!

I am dreading returning to work on Monday. I hate that I have to go back a whole week earlier than we had planned but I have to.

I took Calleigh to Kmart yesterday to have her pictures tooken at the Olan Mills studio but she wasn't cooperating. She was so fussy but as soon as we left she fell asleep. We're trying again today so hopefully this time will be better.

Everything else is going great though. Calleigh is getting bigger and bigger everyday. Her newborn clothes are getting pretty snug on her and I'm sad about that. She's started grinning but no full flegged smiles just yet. She's up to about 5 oz of formula now and is going through about 5 or 6 bottles a day.

4 weeks old! (plus 2 days)

Little Ms Calleigh is a little over 4 weeks old. And while I'm so happy that my little girl is growing, I'm sad because that means that next week will be my last week all alone with her. And before you ask, yes I do get 6 weeks mat leave but what it really is, is 4 weeks paid short term disability plus my 2 vacation weeks. And since our plant is closing down for a full week from Christmas eve until after the new year then I must save a week of my vacation if I want to be paid for that week in December. And my broke butt needs all the money I can get. So I'm robbing myself of a week with my precious baby to make a weeks pay....is it worth it? No, but I have to do it....Bills must be paid :(

Well I believe I have this parenting thing down. I was scared to death to be a parent when I found out I was pregnant. I've never cared for newborns every much. I don't really like babies until they can tell me what they need/want. I mean, I know what I was getting myself into...but I was still scared. Newborns frightened me. I was so afraid to hold her at the hospital because I thought I'd break her neck or something. But as soon as the nurse put her in my arms I knew exactly how to hold her, how to change her diaper, how to feed her, how to swaddle her, and how to love her. Oh how I love her. I can't imagine my life without her now. And yes that's so cliche but it's the truth.

She's such a good baby. She's doing very good. I don't know how much she weighs now but I do know the little ham eats anywhere between 5 or 6 5oz bottles a day. She naps very good and she is stil sleeping through the night. She slept from 11:15 last night until almost 9:30 ths morning!!

Well I need to be going...she's waking up and is probably hungry. I'll try and post some pics later tonight.

Pictures

Calleigh Kay

I apologize for the lack of posts. I dont have internet at home anymore since we turned off our laptop card last month. BUT there is an att tech coming tomorrow to install our dsl since i cant figure the damn thing out...And i honestly didnt think about trying to post a blog from my phone but i figured it out.

Okay, so how about that birth story??

Well on Sunday 9/27 me and Darren were in bed watching David Letterman...I felt and heard something weird then I felt a trickle. I jumped up thinkin I had peed on myself. I ran to the bathroom and sat on the toilet to finish peeing. Well it wouldnt stop and I could deffinately tell it wasn't pee at this point. So I yell at Darren to get up and get dressed. We load the truck up and head to the hospital. Contractions were coming every 5 mins at this point.

We get to the hospital and they put us in a room before 12:00. I get checked and Im barely a fingertip dialated. We hang out for a while and watch tv. Contractions were getting closer and more painful. An hour had went by so the nurse checked me again and I was a centimeter dialated. She gave me a cocktail of pain meds because I wasnt ready for the epi yet. We dozed off and on for the next hour. Contractions were hell by this point and I was constantly reachin for Darrens hand to squeeze during them. He helped me to the bathroom a few times also because I was feeling like I had to poo but nothing was coming.

I paged for the nurse askin to be checked again and at first she didnt want to. She finally did and she told us I was 8 cms and was about to miss my epi. I told her there was no way I was having this baby without one so they better get on it.

They kick Darren out and had to give me the epi during contractions. I felt so much better!! Well fast forward about 6 hours....the dr on call had to use the vacuum and Calleigh Kay Sproles was born on September 28th at 6:47 am weighing in at 7 lbs 13 oz and measuring 21 3/4 in long!!!

We had to stay in the hospital until Thursday because I had a fever when I delivered and my amniotic fluid had an odd smell. Never found out what it was from. Well we both had IVs in us for antibiotics and it broke my heart to see the IV in her little foot. She wasnt eating too good at first and it was from the IV so they took that out Weds afternoon. After a few hours she was eating fine.

Breastfeeding hasnt gone like I wanted it to. My milk came in I guess but has just about went away. Im able to feed her once or twice a day on the boobs but I know it isnt alot because she still needs about 2 oz of formula after. My boobs are failures :(

Well thats pretty much the whole story. Calleigh is absouletly perfect. She is a good mixture of both of us. She has a head full of brown hair and the longest feet, toes, and fingers. She sleeps very good at night. She'll go to sleep around 9 or 10 and wake up only once anywhere between 3 to 6 to eat. Im hopin this sleep pattern sticks!!

I really enjoy being at home with her all day. I love when she falls asleep on my chest or in my arms. I love her so much and I'm so glad that after 3 long years after losing our son, I'm finally a mommy!

No progress but we have a plan...

I went to see my doctor yesterday to be checked. I have zero dialation still. My cervix is still very soft and KK is still very low. Tomorrow I'm 39 weeks. I'm due the following Thursday which is 10/1. My doctor said that at my appointment next Tuesday 9/29, if theres still no dilatation, they'll see me again the following Tuesday which will be 10/6. If I make it to 10/6 he said that we will talk about an INDUCTION date...I do not want to be induced. Let's pray that KK decides she is ready to make an apperance by then....

I know it's normal to not have any progress by 39 weeks but damnit, I thought for sure these freaking stupid contractions were doing something down there. Kinda bummed but oh well...I fully intent on enjoying my comfort food dinner tonight....white beans and sausage with cornbread. Maybe even some ben n jerry's ice cream for desert.

Traditions

I was talking to my stepmom Friday afternoon and she had asked me what traditions we were going to start. So far our holidays have pretty much been hectic. For Thanksgiving, we used to drive 2 hours to do it with my family. Last year it was our first Thanksgiving in our new house so we did our own dinner and invited friends over. It turned into more of a party than anything though because we didn't have the kiddos. This year I'm sure we'll stay around the house again but I honestly don't know.
For Christmas we used to stay at my parents house for Christmas eve and then get up and do Christmas morning with them and head to DH's parents house, then head off to go meet up with the kids mom to either get them or give them to her. Last Christmas, we did it at our house and DH's parents stayed with us Christmas eve and Christmas day and we did Santa and left to go to my parents and grandmothers house.
This year I'm still not sure what were going to do but we'll figure it out.
Anyway...my stepmom suggested that they come to us for Christmas next year and the years following to start our own SET Christmas tradition. Where there would be no variation and we'd know exactly what was happening. Their thing is, they'd rather see KK on Christmas morning and enjoy that. This year she won't know whats going on at Christmas so it won't be the same as next year or any of the following years.
It kinda makes me feel like an adult to have our own traditions and I can't wait to actually have it figured out.